Couch To Couch: "The One Where I became the Teacher, Parent, Chef, Keeping up with Work, Cleaner"
"What's happening with my kids? Does anyone know what I'm doing to be so hated?" - Said every parent in 2020.
Tell me if it looks familiar. "constant running around, jumping on and off the couches, pushing younger siblings, crying, screaming, avoiding school work, avoiding the cameras/ video calls, obsessing over something, wanting to be left alone, never wanting to be alone..." Its a long list and you know it well. Its this thing called the "new normal".
Raise your hand if you feel emotionally mixed up and its hard to self-regulate.
You just told your kids "no" to every thing they know. You're not making the rules, just enforcing them in your homes but you're the bad one in their eyes. It may feel helpless because you are loosing energy and you're running low on patience and creativity. And your kids may seem to be withdrawing, constantly emotional or aggressive. But maybe you're just tired and confused and trying to keep up.
Some parts of the day are not so good.
Kids are defiant, angry, aggressive, and hurtful.
Kids are crying, laughing, being deceitful
Kids are avoiding school work, zoom, and hiding.
Some parts of the week may be good.
Kids laughing and making new friends.
Kids learning something new and challenging themselves.
Kids craving "kid time" away from the family.
Kids connecting who would never have connected before.
Kids showing off their talents and playing games together
Kids being kids.
Lets take it one step at a time.
Step 1. How can I get get more control to have more good days than bad?
Did you know aggressive behaviors are a way of communication? If your child is angry and aggressive its because they are having feelings with a need in expressive verbal language to communicate. Times of high stress, cognitive processing is hard. Children may be at a lost of words and don't have the emotional maturity to recognize how they are feeling which makes taking control challenging. Verbal communication regression is common under circumstances or over-stimulation, which can be contributed from stress.
I'm here to help.
There are ways to help your kids learn to help themselves. This works to help all children become emotionally independent and source emotional coping skills.
Pro Tip: Using pictures can make it easier to identify your feelings and figure out how to make good choices.
Visual boards are very helpful when you want to know what your little one is feeling.
Give them a way to see what their feelings look like using pictures. When they are feeling a certain way use the pictures to identify with. This can also be to recognize, "I don't know what I'm feeling but I need a break". Use an activity guide to figure out what that break looks like.
Take a look at some samples to try in your house. Pre-Made tools like these can be sent to your inbox. Ask me how!
Next Blog Topic ideas:
1. How to Use a picture communication systems
2. Consider using a Behavior Plan
3. Why does my child HATE zoom/ video conferencing?
4. Tips to help my child feel more comfortable on video conferencing.
Stay Strong. You CAN DO IT!